In Defense of Videogames
What's Wrong with the Current Discourse About Men and Gaming
Inevitably within the yearly Twitter liturgical calendar there arises discourse about whether or not videogames are detrimental to society and to male mental health. In the latest dust-up on this topic, the dialog has surrounded the nature of female attraction. The most recent discussion has arisen from a chart claiming to represent some kind of study about which male hobbies are least attractive to women. It has led to posts like this one:
There are some things at work here in this discussion that I want to address.
Videogames are Addictive
First, the claim is continually made that videogames are an addiction that suck men’s lives away from the real world. The first point I want to make here is that this is simply not true in a significant amount of cases. There are, of course, people who get addicted to any hobby and shut off others so that they can solely focus on whatever it is that they do in their free time. I knew those people in high school that identified themselves first and foremost as gamers that seemingly had no life outside of World of Warcraft, or later Call of Duty. But, as a man in my mid thirties, I also know many successful men with families, stable jobs, and an active church life (several of them are pastors) that play a moderate amount of videogames. This perception that videogames are inherently an addictive time-suck is likely fueled by the fact that the people who have a healthy relationship to gaming don’t talk about it all the time, because it doesn’t define their daily lives. This means that perceptions of gaming are often driven by one’s experience with those who are addicted, because they are the most obvious and vocal gamers. That does not mean this is the majority.
The second point I want to make regarding gaming addiction is that it is important to recognize exactly why men find gaming so alluring. It is easy to simply dismiss such people as lazy, disconnected, or weird. But, there is more to it than that. There is a reason why stereotypes of gamers often identify men who do not have a lot of friends, who might be a bit socially awkward, and who are not great at speaking to women. These men struggle with the societal loss of local institutions in which their inherent needs for community are met. It is easy to say, “well then just get involved in church,” with a handwaving dismissal, but the majority of churches in the United States do not provide much of an actual lived-in and active community beyond a couple hours on a Sunday morning and possibly a Bible study during the week. And, even if they do get involved in the church, they are just as likely to be socially isolated there as well (my earliest church memories are being bullied by some of the other kids—and the youth pastor, but that’s a story for another time). We most-often don’t provide places and occasions for belonging and interpersonal interaction for those who are a little bit odd. Often, online gaming is the only actual communal and interactive experience these people get. Labeling them as lazy weirdos is not going to resolve what is a serious crisis of loneliness in our atomized age.
Videogames are a Waste of Time
Another claim that has arisen in this discourse is the argument that playing videogames is a total waste of time when that time could be better spent doing things that are productive, either for broader society or in the quest for self-improvement. There are a couple aspects of this argument that have to be addressed. First, that they are actually a waste of time, and second, that one should never spend time doing anything that is unproductive.
Like any form of media, there are games that are unthinking entertainment, and there are those that engage the mind and soul. There is probably little value mentally or aesthetically in the majority of mobile games, which tend to prioritize small in-app purchases for quick stimulation, rather than in-depth storytelling, long-term strategy, or world-building (52% of mobile gamers are women, by the way). Other types of games surely at least have some value beyond mere stimulation. The Zelda series is largely puzzle solving, the Age of Empires series gets players to think strategically, games like Old Man’s Journey engage in thematic and personal storytelling more deeply than most modern films, and Jeremy Soule’s musical compositions rival the best film composers of today (he cites Wagnerian grand operas as his primary inspiration). Two hours spent playing a strategy game is unquestionably more mentally stimulating than spending that same time watching a Marvel movie or Romcom.
The second question then is that of productivity. Even if one grants that videogames are totally unproductive (and as I have indicated, they often are not), this leads to the question of whether every waking moment of one’s life needs to be productive in some form. Examine this claim by a Twitter user:
The claim here is that whatever one does to relax should serve some greater purpose, as to do something without any purposes beyond simply relaxing is not valuing time, and is also childish. I have a two points I want to make regarding this.
First, this idea, if followed consistently, would negate all sorts of activities in which most people in the Western world are involved—not just videogames. According to one recent study, the average American smartphone user spends 3 hours and 39 minutes per day on their phone. The average TikTok user spends 1.5 hours per day on that app alone. Comparatively, 62% of people between 18 and 29 in the US spend between less than 1 hour to 10 hours a week playing videogames. This does not include the 9% in that age group that do not play them at all. The point here is that wasting time on social media is a far bigger problem, and time waster, than are videogames. And yet, I don’t see the same kinds of constant critiques of mindless hours of scrolling than I do of men playing videogames. And if one is talking about mindlessness, there is far more of that in a one hour TikTok session than in an hour of almost any videogame, especially if it is done as a communal activity.
There is a problem, sure, with the 7-8% of people who spend more than 20 hours per week gaming, but even this is not worse than the amount of time the average American spends watching television per week which exceeds 20 hours. Of course, if someone spends those same hours per week playing games, watching television, and on their phones, they have basically waisted their entire week on entertainment. But videogames themselves are far from the biggest culprit here. And yet, somehow this one medium is somehow viewed as the primary problem. It isn’t. The fact that this debate is happening on Twitter of all places (or “X” I guess) is a great irony. I can’t think of a less useful way to spend one’s time.
Second, regarding the issue of relaxation, there is absolutely no reason to assume that every single hour of one’s day must be productive. There is a strange kind of legalism within American do-it-yourself culture which decries any kind of relaxation at all as purposeless. And yet, Christ has set us free from the fear of this constant and obsessive obligation to do at all times. Once your vocational duties are done, it’s ok to relax. Do I wish that most Americans would spend more of their leisure time reading great literature, or appreciating the inheritance of high culture? Absolutely. But some occasional mindless entertainment is not some kind of forbidden fruit for the Christian. All things in moderation.
The Sexes Need to Cut Each Other Some Slack
This discourse from women surrounding videogames is similar to some recent dust-ups from men regarding women’s TikTok trends being unattractive and weird. This arose after a women’s skincare company released a goofy TikTok video about the clothing that the people in this office were wearing. In both instances, the same thing is quite apparent: men do things with men that women might think are weird, and women do things with women that men might think are weird. And that’s ok.
Not everything is done for the sake of attracting the opposite sex. Women do not need to make decisions about what goofy things to do with their friends on TikTok based on what will attract a man, and men do not need to make decisions about their hobbies based on what will attract a woman. The fact that we expect that such a thing is the case reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of the sexes and their relationship to one another.
If a man plays videogames, a woman does not need to join him in that hobby, or try to make herself interested. If she thinks such a thing is boring and a waste of time, that’s fine. But then men are also allowed to think the same thing about women’s hobbies and her time with her female friends. Maybe we all just need a little bit more understanding for one another with the recognition that the sexes tend to do different things for fun, and that as long as these things are not encroaching upon one’s work, family, and church life, that’s ok.
Signed,
An occasional gamer.
Thank you for speaking about this Dr Cooper. I also think that often both sexes can learn to enjoy things with each other, and should look for the good in their spouse's hobbies. For e.g. I play Zelda with my wife a few nights a week, and even though she's never been a gamer she has grown to love the ambience and exploration. She also walked down the aisle at our wedding to Streets of Whiterun by Jeremy Soule, which she and her family would never have known about unless she opened her mind to the fact that music in games is worth listening to.
ng at seminary, I can say that many current and future pastors (including me) play video games to varying degrees, but you'd never know it. I guess this checks out as the type of person nowadays who tends to become a pastor is usually a somewhat nerdy kind of guy (also me).
On a more serious note, I echo your argument about the hypocrisy of saying video games are a waste of time. I sometimes catch myself saying the same thing, but I also have almost 3000 hours in dota 2 from my high school/undergrad years, so this is partially reactionary. I think most any screen time is a "waste" of time, but I've been learning in recent years, as you said, that rest in moderation is good. Not everything needs to be "productive". I think churches need to talk about the Sabbath more, because learning about it has shown me that God Himself actually cares that we take time to rest.